I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
