I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
