Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
