Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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