wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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