Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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