I faked an abortion last night.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize