You really coming over, don't trick.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
