On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
True college students do jello shots in the library
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