just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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