ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
