I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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