Me too!
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
