I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
