he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
