are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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