I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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