I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize