I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
