every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
