idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
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