swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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