Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
