is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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