I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
