grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Randomize
