Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
