You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
