he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
