I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
