I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
