i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
