"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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