I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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