you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
