We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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