yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Boobs are out for the taking
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
