u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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