so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize