He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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