My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
