Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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