Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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