There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
