i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize