Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize