Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
