I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
