she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
