Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
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