It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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