my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
