The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
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