I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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