I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize