girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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