so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
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