So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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