Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
40s are totally the cure
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize