Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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