he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
