Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
