Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
