I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
