New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize
