I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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