Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
