Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize