HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
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