he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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