Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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