once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
