SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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